At least this is what I think so.
Not like someone, having problem with me and then spread rumours about me just because of SOMEONE’S problems and shit. Time flies, and it still makes me think that "Why the fuck am I that stupid wasting my times with that human that doesn’t even have a life in the past?"
Whatever I posted (Whether is screenshots and messages), at least I am being honest to myself Like please, that is what that person also did to the others too, and yet that human still dare to comment that I am the one that’s exaggerating. Why can’t I post it if neither me nor you are afraid? Pfftt, look who’s the drama queen now. #Sorrybutnotsorry
But thanks to such despicable actions, I have move on with my life pretty well and is coping up with a lot of new things. I’ve graduated with a second class honors (Don’t be jealous, I worked hard on it LOLs x’D), doing and planning cosplay, and met new friends etc, meeting humans that surprisingly have become the most important people in my life.
Comparing to that person, I think I have more achievements than that human did. That human? Forever will be wandering in the fictional world with depression and is always constantly blaming the world and humans around that person.
After all these, it just makes me realised that I still have a life, and I do not need that person, the fandom, or anyone of them to be part in my life. Since we humans are just a mere nobody, we’ll be forgotten by the next generation or even the descendants once we are dead. Now, I just want to enjoy life and continue to pursue my dream, At least I dare, and I am willing to take the risk and gamble to fight for my own rights and dreams. I wanted to abandon that negative impacts that have hit and haunted me badly, and I am really glad to have my BFF and the others to stand by me and help me during those crazy times. (Unlike that human who self-proclaimed that we’re besties/I am gonna stick like a super glue, which still gives me goosebumps.) At least they care, and were there for me when I feel down the most. As long as they are by my side, it does not matter whether if they fights back/bitch back just for the sake of siding me. Because that person and the clan’s existence was never my concern, and it shouldn’t be.
While writing this post, it still somehow triggers me a little due to the face of some humans still can’t accept me for who I am and describing me as that imperfection who have created all these mess, and all the fault lies on me. I do not need your acceptance for me being me, you can go GTFO. But the good thing about writing this post is? At least I am in the clear state of mind. Still, my conscience is clear, whatever those negative shits they have said about me behind my back. To be honest, I really don’t care. I never wanted them back in my life anyway, and same goes for them as well right? So why bother?
However, I do fear that they’ll haunt me though. Not because of the grudges, most probably because of jealousy since I am coping up with my life pretty well x’D
I don’t even hope for reconcile at all, and in fact…. all I ask for now, is to be with the important human beings who accept me and respect me for who I am. I am vain, I only care about myself. But yet, those important people in my life still loves me for being me. Unlike that someone and the others, saying but yet bitching different things behind my back.
But still, at some point I have to thank them for teaching me the most valuable lesson. If not, I will still be wandering like a wanderer, not knowing my destination and is still drowned with those negative impacts. Yes, fear is still there within me, but there are a lot of people who are willing to lend me a hand to get me out of that fences. At this point, at least for now, I feel happy as I realised that I still have a life, and I have to carry on.
I am the imperfection, and I don’t care about those humans that hates me and find me as the fault. What matter is I am me, and this fault will be mended along with the people who are willing to accept me for being me.
So dear me, myself. If one day, you are feeling down/some shits have gotten into you again. Look at what yourself have wrote to yourself, and to the public. You are strong, and you can’t be crushed that easily. Believe in yourself, and let them talk whatever they want since your conscience is clear and you do not need to waste your time to deal with these kind of shit.
Thank you for wasting your time writing this post.